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[gorb]

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@

SOBA

✖

CHARACTER NAME

Geto Suguru

CIVILIAN NAME

Zaru Soba

TEAM

Brimstone

HOUSING NUMBER

003

❤

Comments

[gorb]

Come to me.

( As easy as anything. )

We'll do something. We can talk. We can not talk. You can hold all of my questionable groceries for me.

[eyescar]

Oh.

[ As if it's that easy. Come to Geto, and they'll figure it out. It's almost silly, and he shakes his head. ]

I could carry you and the groceries, Geto-san.

[gorb]

Possibly you could, but I would get very lazy.

( He takes his own swing again, gaze tipped up to the sky. )

I don't mind it, just so you know. If you need to just talk whenever you're feeling like it's too much. It's not a problem. I would prefer you to, in fact. It's an awful thing to go through alone.

[eyescar]

Oh, well...

[ Hit the nail on the head with that one, huh. ]

It's a lot of bad things. My head feels like it's a mess... Choso says I have nightmares, too, but I don't remember them.

[gorb]

Have you considered a professional?

( Still mild, not forcing the issue either way. )

[eyescar]

They tried to make me, before. After Korea.

[ Yuji shifts, uncomfortable. ]

I didn't want to.

[gorb]

( He nods. )

You don't have to. It might help, but I understand not wanting to. It's a complicated thing, growing.

[eyescar]

It's also just impossible to explain.

[ Even if LILITH knows about their world. ]

[gorb]

Now, if only there were a jujutsu sorcerer who also trained as a psychologist.

( They'd probably lose it themselves though. )

[eyescar]

That feels like it would end up being a trap.

[ The poor person would never catch a break. ]

[gorb]

I wouldn't envy anyone who tried, but we'll keep it unprofessional for now, mm? That seems like it would be for the best.

( Letting his swing spin a little. )

Is there anything else you want to talk about? Since we're on the topic.

[eyescar]

I don't know.

[ It already feels like he's said a lot, even if he hasn't, really. ]

[gorb]

Well, I don't mind just hanging out.

( Finally he pushes himself back far enough, letting his feet lift off the tarmac so the swing carries him. It's childish, lacking in any grace. He's just doing it for the sake of it. )

You're not keeping me from anything, bar finishing my game, and possibly being very, very bored.

[eyescar]

Well, if you're bored...

[ Yuji laughs softly. ]

Are all those feelings... That's why you became a curse user?

[gorb]

( That -.

Pulls him up short. The chain on his swing clanks, Geto letting gravity twist him about for a second. )

It's not an inevitable path. Feel enough pain, become ungovernable. But it is part of it. The last drop in an overflowing cup. I was tired, and I didn't have anyone to pull me out. The people who noticed were struggling themselves, and you know what it's like. The school doesn't care as long as you can keep going. I wanted all of those feelings to stop, I didn't see another way.

( A tuneless, toneless hum. )

I wouldn't advise it. More hassle than it's worth.

[eyescar]

The school never cared about me to begin with. I was destined to die the moment I joined.

[ Yuji frowns, rocking on his swing absently. ]

I guess... I understand why you might feel that way. Why you would be so angry and disappointed in everything. I wouldn't ever do that kind of thing myself, though, I... I made a promise. I promised my grandpa, and I promised Megumi, and I guess I kind of promised myself, too.

[gorb]

I wanted to fix things.

( He laughs, and it's not as cruel as it could be. He thinks Yuji deserves the truth from him. No smoke and mirrors. )

Sometimes I think I should have just left. After our mission with the Star Plasma Vessel. It had already started by then, I was already grieving. I watched a girl get shot in the head, and the assassin told me Satoru was dead, and I thought, why? What was the point? Even though he survived, he could have been taken from me any moment after. The way I severed the ties that I did, it was to outrun that pain. It's why I badger the rest of you so often about relying on your friends. I've done the bloodletting, it doesn't work.

( Back to swinging. )

And it doesn't excuse anything. My violence still exists.

[eyescar]

I thought that too. After Nanamin and Kugisaki, I thought...

[ He frowns, fingers playing idly with the chain. ]

I was a murderer. I was just like Mahito, with a role to just kill curses, over and over again. To keep fighting until there were none left, and I would have, too. I wanted to remove them all and not let there be any others, to protect the people I love more than anything. I think if I didn't have Todo in Shibuya, I would have given up.

[ He frowns as he looks over at Geto, his head tilted. ]

I'm not here to forgive you, whatever you did. I wasn't even a sorcerer then, so that's not my right.

[gorb]

I'm not asking for it. Forgiveness is for other people, and I don't believe the things that I did were unjustifiable. Even given a second chance, I'd probably go the same way.

( He shrugs his shoulders, a rare idleness for the conversation. )

But no one else has to. It's my weight. I wouldn't want it for anyone else. And while we're more alike than either of us would like, I think, I have hope for you.

[eyescar]

I didn't think you would.

[ Yuji doesn't think Geto would do the same thing now, but that's because he has people looking out for him. He himself would intervene and do his best to help him, no matter what. ]

Ah... I have my own weights, too, though.

[gorb]

I know. But you're trying.

( Gently, carefully. )

You're here, aren't you? That's better than not, Yuji-kun. That's the start of things.

[eyescar]

I hope so.

[ He's sure some people would say otherwise. That it would be better if he was gone. ]

Thanks.

[gorb]

( Geto will eat them, dnw. )

Do you want to get ice cream? We won't tell anyone. Well, we can tell Satoru after, just so he knows we went without him.

( True villainy. )

I've heard they're doing taro now.

[eyescar]

If you keep buying me ice cream, Geto-san, I'm going to get fat.

[ As if the last few weeks of literal torture didn't rip what little fat he had from his bones. ]

I'll get sensei a takeaway box.

[gorb]

That would take a considerable amount of ice cream.

( A rude noise. )

The point was to deprive him.