you know how some curses are too powerful to absorb, that exorcising them is the only way you'll survive a fight agains them?
some shikigami are like that, too. one in particular will stop at nothing unless you win or they win. no zen'in before has ever beat that one. i don't think anyone ever will. but sukuna did, using my body. now mahoraga answers my call, even if i'm not sure they'll actually listen to me. i don't have that trump card in my backpocket anymore.
sometimes i can feel the shikigami get confused when i summon them, like they don't recognise me.
( He considers this as carefully as he can, picking the words slowly. )
Did you have a chance to summon them on your own accord before LILITH took you? Because it might not necessarily have anything to do with you. It could be something unique to here. Mine are smaller, less powerful. They've been changed.
he wasn't this deadly before. nowhere this large, so much that he's taller than i am even when he's on all fours. whatever he'd done with my body had changed my shikigami, too.
i have scars from that time. they won't heal over, ieri-san had tried.
[ to be forever changed, and irrevocably, by such a possession. megumi doesn't like to think too much about it these days. ]
Sukuna might have changed them. He might have changed you. It would be impossible to go through what you did and not come out unscathed. You have scars. Maybe your shikigami do too. They're just manifested differently.
It takes time to heal. Scar tissue is complicated. I have two on my chest and sometimes they still twinge. But the important thing is that we are living enough to grow the tissue, no? I think you must be frightened of the change. Maybe they can feel it. So what if we try and work our way around that? Training, less life-and-death. Keep summoning them until they remember you, or until that new bond is forged.
[ training. working on a problem from every direction. testing hypotheses and theories until it's whittled down to its provable elements. the process of elimination, twisted around on its head. ]
we keep summoning. me and my shikigami, and you and your curses. we'll figure it out and make it work until everything's as close to how it was before.
[ he realises in that moment that he's taken geto-san to his name — not under his wing, gods forgive the audacity, but as a different color of authority. somewhere between the deep black of a father unknown and the visceral blue of a guardian become distant. a mottling purple, maybe. a verdant-red, oscillating like the scales of a koi.
When I'm back we'll take to the training rooms together, all right? Satoru won't mind, but he can join us if he needs. And we'll work on it together. It won't always feel insurmountable. We can work through it.
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i guess that's the one thing i can thank sukuna for.
[ if he can't joke about it... ]
no subject
What do you mean?
no subject
you know how some curses are too powerful to absorb, that exorcising them is the only way you'll survive a fight agains them?
some shikigami are like that, too. one in particular will stop at nothing unless you win or they win. no zen'in before has ever beat that one. i don't think anyone ever will. but sukuna did, using my body. now mahoraga answers my call, even if i'm not sure they'll actually listen to me. i don't have that trump card in my backpocket anymore.
sometimes i can feel the shikigami get confused when i summon them, like they don't recognise me.
no subject
Did you have a chance to summon them on your own accord before LILITH took you? Because it might not necessarily have anything to do with you. It could be something unique to here. Mine are smaller, less powerful. They've been changed.
no subject
he wasn't this deadly before. nowhere this large, so much that he's taller than i am even when he's on all fours. whatever he'd done with my body had changed my shikigami, too.
i have scars from that time. they won't heal over, ieri-san had tried.
[ to be forever changed, and irrevocably, by such a possession. megumi doesn't like to think too much about it these days. ]
no subject
It takes time to heal. Scar tissue is complicated. I have two on my chest and sometimes they still twinge. But the important thing is that we are living enough to grow the tissue, no? I think you must be frightened of the change. Maybe they can feel it. So what if we try and work our way around that? Training, less life-and-death. Keep summoning them until they remember you, or until that new bond is forged.
ok we're good now
we keep summoning. me and my shikigami, and you and your curses. we'll figure it out and make it work until everything's as close to how it was before.
[ he realises in that moment that he's taken geto-san to his name — not under his wing, gods forgive the audacity, but as a different color of authority. somewhere between the deep black of a father unknown and the visceral blue of a guardian become distant. a mottling purple, maybe. a verdant-red, oscillating like the scales of a koi.
this one is his, too. ]
🥹 megumi
🎀
i'll wait patiently for your return, geto-san. please have a good rest of your holiday with sensei.