( He feels a little bad about popping a romantic bubble, but these questions must be asked. Megumi hated Sukuna, now he's interested in someone similar? It feels dangerous. And if he's confessing these things to Geto, then Geto must be the one to worry about it. )
[ this is why he's asking geto-san first. yuji's answer would be a lot like his own, if their places were switched, and gojo-sensei would give advice that requires bending the world around one's will — like that's easy for them, let alone most people, never mind the well-meaning intentions.
geto-san has lived outside of sorcery and died within it. megumi came so nearly close to it, too. ]
if curses work similarly in his world to our own, you know the vessel is as good as dead once the curse leaves it. transforming the body by replacing the soul isn't survivable. i'm an extreme exception.
[ because of yuji, and no one else is like yuji. no one else can ever be. ]
please be truthful, geto-san. what are you thinking?
I think of the thing that puppets my body and I feel only disgust, Megumi-san. If it used my corpse for something like that -. ( He does not like what it has already been weaponised for. ) But the boy is not from our world? So the same things may not be in place. Have you asked? Do you know how he became in possession of one? Do you think you know him well enough?
i don't know. a lot of things, i don't know. if he's actually a curse, if there was consent, if it'd been as violating as what happened to you.
[ or me, he leaves out, because if there's something he hasn't said to even yuji, it's that he came so close to letting sukuna win. for all that yuta okkotsu had done the same violations with gojo-sensei's body, in the end it had been megumi's surrender that had given sukuna the upper hand.
if he'd kept fighting, he could have limited sukuna from the inside. he'd done it enough that sukuna had to drown both body and soul just to maintain his control, and even then—
if he'd gone with yuji that first time. if he'd kept fighting. if.
but he hadn't.
geto's body was dead for a year and his soul still managed to keep fighting, so why couldn't megumi have done the same? ]
[ he had hoped—— he doesn't know what he'd hoped. this is the sensible answer. the truly correct and justified answer, if megumi's being honest. ]
you're right. it's not a comfortable thing to think about, but you're right about it. it's better to know before it gets more serious and end up being hurt by something i could've avoided.
but if it does turn out for the worse? then what do i do?
Tell yourself the worst answer. Decide what you can live with. It's not up to anyone else, Megumi, and if you can stomach the truth in favour of the boy then that's all you need to know.
( He understands, really he does. There is pity inside of him for Megumi and all of his vast feeling. It is good that he is finding things to strive for. Geto wishes only that he hadn't ended up with something so difficult. )
I don't think you're the kind of soul to be fooled. And from what I know you value heart. So presumably he has one.
[ certainly that is one way to approach the matter.
but what is the worst answer? that hikaru ends up killing entire cities of people? he's forgiven yuji for that. made his peace with sukuna's abuse, too. ]
i haven't had a reason to think he doesn't have one. but i could be wrong. i've been wrong before.
i think... if i'm wrong, at least this time i know what i should do.
thank you, geto-san. these aren't easy or comforting questions that i keep asking you.
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( He feels a little bad about popping a romantic bubble, but these questions must be asked. Megumi hated Sukuna, now he's interested in someone similar? It feels dangerous. And if he's confessing these things to Geto, then Geto must be the one to worry about it. )
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geto-san has lived outside of sorcery and died within it. megumi came so nearly close to it, too. ]
if curses work similarly in his world to our own, you know the vessel is as good as dead once the curse leaves it. transforming the body by replacing the soul isn't survivable. i'm an extreme exception.
[ because of yuji, and no one else is like yuji. no one else can ever be. ]
please be truthful, geto-san. what are you thinking?
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( He's been asked, he'll be truthful. )
I think of the thing that puppets my body and I feel only disgust, Megumi-san. If it used my corpse for something like that -. ( He does not like what it has already been weaponised for. ) But the boy is not from our world? So the same things may not be in place. Have you asked? Do you know how he became in possession of one? Do you think you know him well enough?
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[ or me, he leaves out, because if there's something he hasn't said to even yuji, it's that he came so close to letting sukuna win. for all that yuta okkotsu had done the same violations with gojo-sensei's body, in the end it had been megumi's surrender that had given sukuna the upper hand.
if he'd kept fighting, he could have limited sukuna from the inside. he'd done it enough that sukuna had to drown both body and soul just to maintain his control, and even then—
if he'd gone with yuji that first time. if he'd kept fighting. if.
but he hadn't.
geto's body was dead for a year and his soul still managed to keep fighting, so why couldn't megumi have done the same? ]
i don't know how to ask. or if i should.
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( At least Yuji is one of Satoru's students who likes someone normal. He knows about Okkotsu and Megumi now. )
I think knowing is better. You might get attached and discover something worse down the line. Then it will hurt much more than it could now.
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you're right. it's not a comfortable thing to think about, but you're right about it. it's better to know before it gets more serious and end up being hurt by something i could've avoided.
but if it does turn out for the worse? then what do i do?
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Tell yourself the worst answer. Decide what you can live with. It's not up to anyone else, Megumi, and if you can stomach the truth in favour of the boy then that's all you need to know.
( He understands, really he does. There is pity inside of him for Megumi and all of his vast feeling. It is good that he is finding things to strive for. Geto wishes only that he hadn't ended up with something so difficult. )
I don't think you're the kind of soul to be fooled. And from what I know you value heart. So presumably he has one.
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but what is the worst answer? that hikaru ends up killing entire cities of people? he's forgiven yuji for that. made his peace with sukuna's abuse, too. ]
i haven't had a reason to think he doesn't have one. but i could be wrong. i've been wrong before.
i think... if i'm wrong, at least this time i know what i should do.
thank you, geto-san. these aren't easy or comforting questions that i keep asking you.
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And I hope your boy is someone you can trust. If he isn't, let me know. I have many tricks up my sleeve. I'll help you handle it.
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keep safe, geto-san. don't let my old man push you around too much.
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Also I'm telling him you called him that. I think it'll be funny. Stay safe, Megumi-san. We'll talk soon.