( He keeps his tone even, easy. Nanami did ask and Geto isn't being particularly cruel. ) And tired, sad, used up. ( Okay, maybe a little cruel but that's just his nature nowadays. ) But I don't think it's necessarily your fault. It's just how things have gone.
( The loss of Haibara is a ghost not easily exorcised. Geto still thinks about it more often than not, he can only imagine what it must be like for Nanami. He toys with the soda can in his hands for want of something better to do. )
But you're not infallible. I think you need to remember that.
[ The cruelty is expected. It still hurts, bites somewhere deep and unreachable in his core, making it twinge with cold. But instead of arguing or snapping back, Nanami just utters a dry half-laugh of amusement. It's wry, but accepting, swallowing up those words. Used up. Well. That's probably not wrong. ]
You think that's sad? Isn't that just the same as everyone else?
[ He's already caught a glimpse of the end. He can feel it, anticipates it bearing down on him, and whether that's tomorrow or a lucky few years forward, Nanami has already accepted the inevitable fate of being consumed by his ghost. He had tried to run at one point, tried to aim for a second chance at a better life, a feeling of completion, but slowly over time he had simply stopped running. There wasn't any point to it. Or maybe the longing to reunite with that warm smile had finally convinced him that he had to go back to it. The price of getting to feel that comfort again might be returning to the life they both left, but he can't keep himself from wanting it. ]
I can't forget it.
[ It's the curse that he carried home with Haibara's corpse. The knowledge of how truly limited he is. Not strong enough to save the one life he would have traded for his own, and as Geto says, there's really nothing that could be done. Chasing after the impossible goal of becoming another monster was the best he could manage at the time. ]
But I'm still alive for now. I think I managed pretty well for being used up.
( Leaning back in the chair, Geto lifts a hand, presses his thumb to the space between his brows. ) I didn't mean to. I think it's admirable you keep going. I think anyone would be the same, in your shoes. I saw it in the cards for myself back then, why do you think I left?
( There were naturally a myriad of reasons then, but the bone weary sadness had been a part of it. Knowing he would have to keep going until he was killed, knowing that nothing and no one would ever be able to stop it. It still has its claws in him some days, the swinging pendulum of his moods dropping without warning. He does a better job at hiding it, though maybe the only reason he can see it in Nanami now is because it's in him too. )
I'm not going to shame you for trying to escape it in any way you have to, so if you're looking for that you might have to ask someone else. You could probably choose better partners, if only because the monkeys don't deserve you, but that's whatever. It's just sex. ( A grin. ) Just don't procreate, mm?
[ That is a bold lie. He almost doesn't hide the fact it hits that particular nerve that sitting at the morgue had, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his thighs so he can stare down at the water bottle in his hand. Unlike that time, his back still holds a straight line, is shoulders able to bear a little more of the crushing reality these days. Eventually it will all go numb. When there's nothing left of him but the sorcerer, he won't even blink at comments like that. So what if he's already burnt out? ]
Admirable? Don't be ridiculous.
[ He wishes Geto would mock him for the pathetic turn the night has taken. It's a well-earned reminder that seeking to escape their lives will only bring the curse after him. That he, like the other sorcerers, is a curse to others as well. He may use it to help when he can, but anything more than his function is simply unnecessary. It causes problems. Creates fear. Geto gives him a playful warning, and Nanami can't stop the derisive noise that comes in response as he lifts his head. ]
Aren't you assuming too much? I don't intend on starting a relationship. You're the one I should worry about.
( Mock affronted, wide eyes, a hand coming up to touch his chest. ) Ah, Nanami, I'm not that kind of girl. ( A fluttering of eyelashes, as playful as a razor's edge. ) And I'm very unlikely to knock anybody up.
( Besides which, he is a paranoid bastard. It's almost funny. Maybe he's a little envious of his old friend, knowing that he would never be able to put aside his own thoughts long enough to relax. )
You're harder on yourself than you need to be. Maybe you do need to be less alone.
[ It's not the same and he knows that, but Nanami isn't going to get the chance. He won't allow himself to leave behind a broken family or children that might be cursed into the next generation. As much as he wants to connect to someone, he won't even leave behind a lover who might actually miss him when he's gone. No one to mourn what might have been like he mourned before. Although after this fiasco, maybe he should give up on empty physical escapes too. ]
You're right. You probably have your hands full as it is. But you seem to be popular enough.
[ Collecting lost souls, perhaps, but they do seem to like him. Geto has that much at least. Nanami is following Gojo's path, both keeping to their isolation. ]
If I were harder on myself I wouldn't be here at all. I should have told him to leave me alone.
[ His stupid soft spot for warm smiles betrayed him again. ]
I offer people a safety they wouldn't have been afforded otherwise.
( Easy enough, still good natured. The curse users on the outskirts, with their less palatable natures. The jujutsu sorcerers forgotten or discarded by the higher ups. Those without a place in the world. No matter how often he gets painted as truly villainous he thinks he's doing some good. At least with his family. He tries. Someone has to. A pause, and then very carefully. )
All you'd have to do is say the word. ( He knows he's going to be denied, but he thinks the offer is important regardless. ) We have space.
( He keeps it casual, taking another sip of his drink. He knows the answer either way, it won't stop him coming when Nanami calls either way. )
Although everyone is very much in each other's business. That might dampen your style somewhat.
[ He can still see that optimistic ideal buried deep under the curse user's bitterness. Geto still want to help others like himself. He wants to save the people he thinks need saving. Maybe it means even more to him now, because it isn't something he was told needs to be done, but something he decided for himself. Even though he and Gojo have chosen different paths in achieving their goals, Nanami can see how alike they really are--desperate to rescue the ones that are abused by those above them.
It makes him smile. A soft, tired expression of fondness he rarely shows. When he burns out and leaves behind nothing but the smear of a corpse, at least those two will still be looking out for the next generation. That's what he chooses to believe. Because who can defeat them? It's okay to believe in that much, right? ]
Heh. I appreciate your offer, but if I go missing, then no one will be able to keep certain problems in order.
[ He doesn't want Gojo to be alone. That's the answer, sad as it is. At least Geto has found something kind, and that sets Nanami's mind at more ease, but Gojo still needs them. ]
Also, I don't like sharing.
[ That part isn't true, but maybe he's being selfish about finally having Geto's company. ]
( He shifts a little, reading between the lines. It's not that he never thinks about Gojo Satoru, it's just that he tries very hard not to. He'd made it look as easy as he could, leaving, had forced himself through the steps with the air of a man who'd found enlightenment. It had been a very good act, one he keeps up even now. He tells himself that the wound has long healed, but sometimes, moments like now, he moves wrong and the pain lances through him again. He wants to say something about it, wants maybe to ask about him, or to tell Nanami he's glad that at least one of them didn't up and leave. But he can't quite unglue his tongue from the roof of his mouth and instead he lets out a breath, half-shuddering. )
Well, the offers there. But just because you've said no doesn't mean you can't call on me if situations like this ever arise again.
( Because who is he to lecture a man on poor decisions? )
Or if you need company that won't leave you soaking and bruised in a bathroom.
[ That small movement and sigh, uncomfortable but quiet, says more than an actual answer would have. Nanami knows that it wasn't easy for Geto. He might be smiling and playful, like Gojo often is, but the scars are there. None of them walked away without some lasting pain, and he can see that in Geto's posture even now.
Nanami stands and crosses the room to stand by Geto, resting his hand on his shoulder. Just because he feels the need to look after Gojo doesn't mean he has no regard for Geto. They are friends, whether awkward or distant, and sometimes Geto needs support as much as Nanami does. And as much as he believes in his decision to go back, he understands Geto's choices as well. Unlike their superiors, he can't really blame him for his path. ]
Are you going to rescue me?
[ He sounds slightly amused, but warm. ]
Thank you. Maybe I needed the bruises. But I'm glad you came to get me.
( He blinks up at Nanami for a second, expression complicated before it smooths out. )
I could, if you wanted. It wouldn't even have to look like your choice, if that's what you'd be worried about. I do a lot of terrible things, what's kidnap on to of that?
( It would be an act, like most things are. Geto is almost certain he could play it well though, the villainous curse user spiriting away the best and brightest of jujutsu society. Still, he knows Nanami, knows the goodness of his heart despite how badly he seems to think of himself. So instead he grins again. )
Ah, well you would too, wouldn't you? Any time you need it.
[ The suggestion for some reason strikes him as funny. The world's most terrifying curse user, the feared criminal, offering to rescue the 7:3 Sorcerer from his tedious, depressing life. There's something kind in that gesture that still sounds like the Geto he went to school with, and Nanami does smile at that. ]
Wouldn't that ruin your reputation? Your followers would question why you were bothering with keeping someone like me around.
[ How could it be anything but a merciful gesture? Something to help a sorcerer that has chosen what Geto's group sees as the wrong side. He does like that image, though. The idea of Geto trying to kidnap him is more amusing than bad. ]
I would. Any time you call, I'll answer.
[ As long as he can. Even if it means balancing his life against even more complications, Nanami will never be the one to leave his remaining friends behind. ]
It's not a dictatorship. ( An easy shrug, Geto leaning back in his chair so that he can look better up at Nanami, smile careless. ) And it isn't the kind of family to judge each other harshly. They'd know I'd have my reasons, and besides, we're on the same side.
( It isn't quite as black and white as most people would have suggested. Geto wants to protect his fellow sorcerers, he's just tired of trying to chip away at a monumental task. If he has to take extreme measures to do so then he will. Somebody has to, he's gotten better at playing the victim. )
But mm, maybe we can agree on that instead. If you need a break you call me. Even if it's to sit in some dingy bar and glower at anyone I think inappropriate. ( Grin widening, teeth showing. ) I've been told I'm very picky, but maybe you need someone like that. I'd rather that than you end up hurt, anyway.
[ That's almost friendly. An invitation for company between a proper sorcerer and a curse user who should be enemies, fighting on opposite sides of that divide in society. In a way, it feels like some kind of validation that their past connections still survived, that they managed to make it past their tragedies and keep going, despite everything else falling apart. ]
What if you need a break? Will you call me to help you?
[ Of course there's danger in keeping contact like this for both of them, but Nanami doesn't doubt his decision this time. The last thing he wants is the regret of not taking an opportunity while he still has it. ]
I'm not the only one that needs backup.
[ Even if he's the one who has bad taste in people apparently. ]
( Instinct wants him to shrug it off, to joke, to deny the fact that he could ever feel pressure in the first place? What good is what he's done if he's not entirely one hundred percent confident in it? Admitting to the strain feels like it would mean he isn't. It's clear he's deeply pondering it, but then he must come to some sort of conclusion because his smile turns a little bittersweet, but real for it. )
All right, if I promise to then you have to as well.
( He trusts Nanami. No matter what Geto has done, that won't change. )
This is very emotionally mature of us. Who would have thought we could manage? ( Of course he immediately has to put a little distance between himself and his feelings. ) Now. Do you want me to take you somewhere else? We could fly, but if you've had a bit to drink you might not like it much.
[ Nanami waits, and at first he isn't sure Geto will agree to open up to him. He knows how much that his trust was burned, how hard it has to be to trust anyone after believing the entire world has been lying to you your whole life. He doesn't blame Geto for feeling betrayed, and he also wouldn't blame him for viewing Nanami as nothing more than an obstacle. A tool of the society he hates that deserves to be destroyed along with it rather than a friend he once trusted.
But the answer he gets is much gentler. It sounds like the Geto Suguru that he used to look up to, that Haibara always bragged about showing off to. Nanami has to turn his gaze away as he feels his chest tighten. He doesn't want Geto to see him any more vulnerable than he already has. ]
Mm. Can you take me somewhere I don't know? Get us lost somewhere.
[ It's the kind of stupid, reckless thing the other friend of theirs would do, something that neither Nanami or Geto would normally approve of, acting without carefully thought out plans and preparation. But Nanami is feeling more raw than usual and makes that spur of the moment request, asking Geto for an escape from his responsible decisions even if it's just temporary. ]
( He doesn't think it's an entirely odd request. In fact, he's a little surprised it's taken Nanami this long to voice it. It gives Geto motivation though, and he rises from the seat, clapping the other man on the shoulder with one warm, broad palm. )
All right, figure out if you need to take anything with us. We'll leave the way I came. ( Via the curse that still lingers beyond the window, obediently waiting. Geto finishes his soda, crunches the can in one hand to toss in a nearby wastebin, looking around the room himself just in case his friend misses something. Then he's heading to open the window again. )
Don't worry, my flying's a lot better these days. ( An inside joke, teasing. He'd been easily convinced to show off as a youth, they must all remember some near misses. ) You learn to go slower with children.
[ No matter how frustrated or lonely he might get, Nanami's main strength has always been his stubborn resilience. His practical nature simply refuses to see the point in giving up, and over the years he's managed to hone is ability to ignore tedious problems and people and simply move forward, even if that meant falling into a rut of routine.
But when he's finally offered a chance to escape some of that constant discontent, when Geto lets him admit that what he really wants is something good, something beyond the illusion of "just okay" to be functional, Nanami can't hold back. He retrieves his damp clothes and follows his former classmate to the window like they are kids again, sneaking out in a way Nanami wouldn't have suggested when he was an actual student. ]
You'd better not drop me. Don't show off just because it's been a while.
[ Or maybe he should show off and make Nanami's heart speed up a little. Maybe he'll like feeling the rush again. He doesn't want to admit that, but he does flush faintly as he follows him onto the back of the waiting curse. ]
( A grin, the flash of teeth. He would. He is just as prone to boasting now as he was back then, perhaps even a little more now that he's shrugged off the aura of studious good boy he'd been so desperate to project in his youth. Still, Nanami is trusting him and he's not altogether an asshole, so he waits until the other sorcerer is aboard the curse, smile gentling. )
You can hold onto me if you want.
( The girls do, he doesn't mind it.
And then he's steering the stingray curse away from the open window and up, slow and steady above the building tops, the city a glittering jewel below them. )
[ He shouldn't think about the feeling that washes over him at that sly grin. The same warm, slightly buzzing feeling he felt in the bar hours earlier, spurring him to make stupid decisions for vague promises his body knows but his mind refuses to think about. He shouldn't let his eyes linger on the sharp white of Geto's smile and wonder what it feels like on skin--so he doesn't. At least not too long, he thinks, after climbing onto the curse's back. It already feels like an escape to step out of that window, leaving behind the hotel room and his mistakes.
But he's not about to cling to Geto like a child. Nanami keeps his balance, watching the city become a distant cluster of lights as they rise further away, drawing an appreciative breath at the scene as the buildings morph into something else the higher they go. ]
( He has to pitch his voice a little louder, but at least this high up the sound of traffic isn't too much that it drowns him out. He throws Nanami a glance over his shoulder with a shrug of it. ) It's surprisingly calming. No one can see me up here, and I don't have to deal with crowds. The girls used to like it when they were younger too, so on nights no one could sleep we'd take the sting ray and go flying. ( Nightmares had been more common in the early days, on all fronts. Geto had fumbled through parenthood as best as he could, offering reprieve wherever possible. ) They prefer the pelican now though, the wind can't mess their hair up in the bird.
[ He's not sure when he last felt good about any technique. He does his job because he wants to protect people, but Nanami doesn't enjoy using curse energy any more than an office worker likes completing contracts. There's some satisfaction in achieving good results, but it isn't fun or beautiful or fulfilling.
Riding high above the city and feeling the wind blow against him feels good. The lights are beautiful, and he almost manages to smile. Geto talks about taking the girls out at night like it was pleasant for them, and in a way, he's almost jealous. If he had that innocent outlook, would using curse techniques feel any different to him. ]
If you say that, aren't you comparing me to them? Does that mean you want to adopt me?
( A snort of laughter, the sting ray climbing a little higher in a slow elegant arc, Geto's hands pressed to its back but mostly still. )
I could. You'd be less work than two teenage girls, that's for you. You seem like a strict routine haver and trying to get them to stick to one is an uphill battle I'm absolutely losing. But don't let them fool you, it isn't all treats and bullying me into submission! I can be fierce when I want to be.
( It's a little funny, the impassioned way he announces himself, like he isn't famed for being cruel, for being ruthless. The dichotomy of it should rankle a little. But then he's always been fairly bad at denying the people he cares about. Even Satoru never got the full force of his ire. Geto chose to walk away instead, so they could never truly be enemies.
[ The flight and the casual talk feels almost like a dream, a piece of what might have been if things had turned out differently for all of them. What if the higher ups had actually looked out for them and given them the lives they needed when they were younger? Would they all have remained innocent friends?
No, of course not. Life isn't that simple or easy no matter how much support they have. Nanami gives Geto a wry smile, taking in what his former classmate has become. The most terrifying curse user of their time, an indulgent young parent, and also a man willing to rescue him for the sake of old memories. What a mess. ]
You don't have to pay me. If you want me to do you favors, you just have to ask. Make sure they're not too tedious--and try to keep them outside of normal work hours.
( There's an amused light in his face when he speaks, something almost cheeky about the way he all but purrs it. ) Ah, Nanami, what kind of favours do people often ask of you if those are the prerequisite?
( The curse clears the tops of the buildings now, the people below barely noticeable beyond tiny pinpricks. The higher they go the looser his shoulders become, the less the chokehold of his emotions become. He tips his face up towards the dark night sky, the twinkling of stars, offering an easier smile this time. )
I'll bear it in mind. You do the same. Don't work yourself into a state in the morning, I don't think any less of you now, and I won't if it happens again. Besides, it's been nice. Being useful in a different way.
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( He keeps his tone even, easy. Nanami did ask and Geto isn't being particularly cruel. ) And tired, sad, used up. ( Okay, maybe a little cruel but that's just his nature nowadays. ) But I don't think it's necessarily your fault. It's just how things have gone.
( The loss of Haibara is a ghost not easily exorcised. Geto still thinks about it more often than not, he can only imagine what it must be like for Nanami. He toys with the soda can in his hands for want of something better to do. )
But you're not infallible. I think you need to remember that.
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You think that's sad? Isn't that just the same as everyone else?
[ He's already caught a glimpse of the end. He can feel it, anticipates it bearing down on him, and whether that's tomorrow or a lucky few years forward, Nanami has already accepted the inevitable fate of being consumed by his ghost. He had tried to run at one point, tried to aim for a second chance at a better life, a feeling of completion, but slowly over time he had simply stopped running. There wasn't any point to it. Or maybe the longing to reunite with that warm smile had finally convinced him that he had to go back to it. The price of getting to feel that comfort again might be returning to the life they both left, but he can't keep himself from wanting it. ]
I can't forget it.
[ It's the curse that he carried home with Haibara's corpse. The knowledge of how truly limited he is. Not strong enough to save the one life he would have traded for his own, and as Geto says, there's really nothing that could be done. Chasing after the impossible goal of becoming another monster was the best he could manage at the time. ]
But I'm still alive for now. I think I managed pretty well for being used up.
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I've upset you.
( Leaning back in the chair, Geto lifts a hand, presses his thumb to the space between his brows. ) I didn't mean to. I think it's admirable you keep going. I think anyone would be the same, in your shoes. I saw it in the cards for myself back then, why do you think I left?
( There were naturally a myriad of reasons then, but the bone weary sadness had been a part of it. Knowing he would have to keep going until he was killed, knowing that nothing and no one would ever be able to stop it. It still has its claws in him some days, the swinging pendulum of his moods dropping without warning. He does a better job at hiding it, though maybe the only reason he can see it in Nanami now is because it's in him too. )
I'm not going to shame you for trying to escape it in any way you have to, so if you're looking for that you might have to ask someone else. You could probably choose better partners, if only because the monkeys don't deserve you, but that's whatever. It's just sex. ( A grin. ) Just don't procreate, mm?
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[ That is a bold lie. He almost doesn't hide the fact it hits that particular nerve that sitting at the morgue had, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his thighs so he can stare down at the water bottle in his hand. Unlike that time, his back still holds a straight line, is shoulders able to bear a little more of the crushing reality these days. Eventually it will all go numb. When there's nothing left of him but the sorcerer, he won't even blink at comments like that. So what if he's already burnt out? ]
Admirable? Don't be ridiculous.
[ He wishes Geto would mock him for the pathetic turn the night has taken. It's a well-earned reminder that seeking to escape their lives will only bring the curse after him. That he, like the other sorcerers, is a curse to others as well. He may use it to help when he can, but anything more than his function is simply unnecessary. It causes problems. Creates fear. Geto gives him a playful warning, and Nanami can't stop the derisive noise that comes in response as he lifts his head. ]
Aren't you assuming too much? I don't intend on starting a relationship. You're the one I should worry about.
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( Mock affronted, wide eyes, a hand coming up to touch his chest. ) Ah, Nanami, I'm not that kind of girl. ( A fluttering of eyelashes, as playful as a razor's edge. ) And I'm very unlikely to knock anybody up.
( Besides which, he is a paranoid bastard. It's almost funny. Maybe he's a little envious of his old friend, knowing that he would never be able to put aside his own thoughts long enough to relax. )
You're harder on yourself than you need to be. Maybe you do need to be less alone.
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[ It's not the same and he knows that, but Nanami isn't going to get the chance. He won't allow himself to leave behind a broken family or children that might be cursed into the next generation. As much as he wants to connect to someone, he won't even leave behind a lover who might actually miss him when he's gone. No one to mourn what might have been like he mourned before. Although after this fiasco, maybe he should give up on empty physical escapes too. ]
You're right. You probably have your hands full as it is. But you seem to be popular enough.
[ Collecting lost souls, perhaps, but they do seem to like him. Geto has that much at least. Nanami is following Gojo's path, both keeping to their isolation. ]
If I were harder on myself I wouldn't be here at all. I should have told him to leave me alone.
[ His stupid soft spot for warm smiles betrayed him again. ]
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( Easy enough, still good natured. The curse users on the outskirts, with their less palatable natures. The jujutsu sorcerers forgotten or discarded by the higher ups. Those without a place in the world. No matter how often he gets painted as truly villainous he thinks he's doing some good. At least with his family. He tries. Someone has to. A pause, and then very carefully. )
All you'd have to do is say the word. ( He knows he's going to be denied, but he thinks the offer is important regardless. ) We have space.
( He keeps it casual, taking another sip of his drink. He knows the answer either way, it won't stop him coming when Nanami calls either way. )
Although everyone is very much in each other's business. That might dampen your style somewhat.
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[ He can still see that optimistic ideal buried deep under the curse user's bitterness. Geto still want to help others like himself. He wants to save the people he thinks need saving. Maybe it means even more to him now, because it isn't something he was told needs to be done, but something he decided for himself. Even though he and Gojo have chosen different paths in achieving their goals, Nanami can see how alike they really are--desperate to rescue the ones that are abused by those above them.
It makes him smile. A soft, tired expression of fondness he rarely shows. When he burns out and leaves behind nothing but the smear of a corpse, at least those two will still be looking out for the next generation. That's what he chooses to believe. Because who can defeat them? It's okay to believe in that much, right? ]
Heh. I appreciate your offer, but if I go missing, then no one will be able to keep certain problems in order.
[ He doesn't want Gojo to be alone. That's the answer, sad as it is. At least Geto has found something kind, and that sets Nanami's mind at more ease, but Gojo still needs them. ]
Also, I don't like sharing.
[ That part isn't true, but maybe he's being selfish about finally having Geto's company. ]
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Well, the offers there. But just because you've said no doesn't mean you can't call on me if situations like this ever arise again.
( Because who is he to lecture a man on poor decisions? )
Or if you need company that won't leave you soaking and bruised in a bathroom.
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Nanami stands and crosses the room to stand by Geto, resting his hand on his shoulder. Just because he feels the need to look after Gojo doesn't mean he has no regard for Geto. They are friends, whether awkward or distant, and sometimes Geto needs support as much as Nanami does. And as much as he believes in his decision to go back, he understands Geto's choices as well. Unlike their superiors, he can't really blame him for his path. ]
Are you going to rescue me?
[ He sounds slightly amused, but warm. ]
Thank you. Maybe I needed the bruises. But I'm glad you came to get me.
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I could, if you wanted. It wouldn't even have to look like your choice, if that's what you'd be worried about. I do a lot of terrible things, what's kidnap on to of that?
( It would be an act, like most things are. Geto is almost certain he could play it well though, the villainous curse user spiriting away the best and brightest of jujutsu society. Still, he knows Nanami, knows the goodness of his heart despite how badly he seems to think of himself. So instead he grins again. )
Ah, well you would too, wouldn't you? Any time you need it.
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Wouldn't that ruin your reputation? Your followers would question why you were bothering with keeping someone like me around.
[ How could it be anything but a merciful gesture? Something to help a sorcerer that has chosen what Geto's group sees as the wrong side. He does like that image, though. The idea of Geto trying to kidnap him is more amusing than bad. ]
I would. Any time you call, I'll answer.
[ As long as he can. Even if it means balancing his life against even more complications, Nanami will never be the one to leave his remaining friends behind. ]
Maybe... occasionally. For a night now and then.
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( It isn't quite as black and white as most people would have suggested. Geto wants to protect his fellow sorcerers, he's just tired of trying to chip away at a monumental task. If he has to take extreme measures to do so then he will. Somebody has to, he's gotten better at playing the victim. )
But mm, maybe we can agree on that instead. If you need a break you call me. Even if it's to sit in some dingy bar and glower at anyone I think inappropriate. ( Grin widening, teeth showing. ) I've been told I'm very picky, but maybe you need someone like that. I'd rather that than you end up hurt, anyway.
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[ That's almost friendly. An invitation for company between a proper sorcerer and a curse user who should be enemies, fighting on opposite sides of that divide in society. In a way, it feels like some kind of validation that their past connections still survived, that they managed to make it past their tragedies and keep going, despite everything else falling apart. ]
What if you need a break? Will you call me to help you?
[ Of course there's danger in keeping contact like this for both of them, but Nanami doesn't doubt his decision this time. The last thing he wants is the regret of not taking an opportunity while he still has it. ]
I'm not the only one that needs backup.
[ Even if he's the one who has bad taste in people apparently. ]
why did i write victim instead of villain asghjka
All right, if I promise to then you have to as well.
( He trusts Nanami. No matter what Geto has done, that won't change. )
This is very emotionally mature of us. Who would have thought we could manage? ( Of course he immediately has to put a little distance between himself and his feelings. ) Now. Do you want me to take you somewhere else? We could fly, but if you've had a bit to drink you might not like it much.
he's a victim of society!
But the answer he gets is much gentler. It sounds like the Geto Suguru that he used to look up to, that Haibara always bragged about showing off to. Nanami has to turn his gaze away as he feels his chest tighten. He doesn't want Geto to see him any more vulnerable than he already has. ]
Mm. Can you take me somewhere I don't know? Get us lost somewhere.
[ It's the kind of stupid, reckless thing the other friend of theirs would do, something that neither Nanami or Geto would normally approve of, acting without carefully thought out plans and preparation. But Nanami is feeling more raw than usual and makes that spur of the moment request, asking Geto for an escape from his responsible decisions even if it's just temporary. ]
😭
( He doesn't think it's an entirely odd request. In fact, he's a little surprised it's taken Nanami this long to voice it. It gives Geto motivation though, and he rises from the seat, clapping the other man on the shoulder with one warm, broad palm. )
All right, figure out if you need to take anything with us. We'll leave the way I came. ( Via the curse that still lingers beyond the window, obediently waiting. Geto finishes his soda, crunches the can in one hand to toss in a nearby wastebin, looking around the room himself just in case his friend misses something. Then he's heading to open the window again. )
Don't worry, my flying's a lot better these days. ( An inside joke, teasing. He'd been easily convinced to show off as a youth, they must all remember some near misses. ) You learn to go slower with children.
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But when he's finally offered a chance to escape some of that constant discontent, when Geto lets him admit that what he really wants is something good, something beyond the illusion of "just okay" to be functional, Nanami can't hold back. He retrieves his damp clothes and follows his former classmate to the window like they are kids again, sneaking out in a way Nanami wouldn't have suggested when he was an actual student. ]
You'd better not drop me. Don't show off just because it's been a while.
[ Or maybe he should show off and make Nanami's heart speed up a little. Maybe he'll like feeling the rush again. He doesn't want to admit that, but he does flush faintly as he follows him onto the back of the waiting curse. ]
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( A grin, the flash of teeth. He would. He is just as prone to boasting now as he was back then, perhaps even a little more now that he's shrugged off the aura of studious good boy he'd been so desperate to project in his youth. Still, Nanami is trusting him and he's not altogether an asshole, so he waits until the other sorcerer is aboard the curse, smile gentling. )
You can hold onto me if you want.
( The girls do, he doesn't mind it.
And then he's steering the stingray curse away from the open window and up, slow and steady above the building tops, the city a glittering jewel below them. )
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[ He shouldn't think about the feeling that washes over him at that sly grin. The same warm, slightly buzzing feeling he felt in the bar hours earlier, spurring him to make stupid decisions for vague promises his body knows but his mind refuses to think about. He shouldn't let his eyes linger on the sharp white of Geto's smile and wonder what it feels like on skin--so he doesn't. At least not too long, he thinks, after climbing onto the curse's back. It already feels like an escape to step out of that window, leaving behind the hotel room and his mistakes.
But he's not about to cling to Geto like a child. Nanami keeps his balance, watching the city become a distant cluster of lights as they rise further away, drawing an appreciative breath at the scene as the buildings morph into something else the higher they go. ]
Do you do this a lot?
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( He has to pitch his voice a little louder, but at least this high up the sound of traffic isn't too much that it drowns him out. He throws Nanami a glance over his shoulder with a shrug of it. ) It's surprisingly calming. No one can see me up here, and I don't have to deal with crowds. The girls used to like it when they were younger too, so on nights no one could sleep we'd take the sting ray and go flying. ( Nightmares had been more common in the early days, on all fronts. Geto had fumbled through parenthood as best as he could, offering reprieve wherever possible. ) They prefer the pelican now though, the wind can't mess their hair up in the bird.
( A pause, and then a huff. )
Yours looks fine, by the way.
( Helpful. )
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Riding high above the city and feeling the wind blow against him feels good. The lights are beautiful, and he almost manages to smile. Geto talks about taking the girls out at night like it was pleasant for them, and in a way, he's almost jealous. If he had that innocent outlook, would using curse techniques feel any different to him. ]
If you say that, aren't you comparing me to them? Does that mean you want to adopt me?
[ See? He has humor. Kind of. ]
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I could. You'd be less work than two teenage girls, that's for you. You seem like a strict routine haver and trying to get them to stick to one is an uphill battle I'm absolutely losing. But don't let them fool you, it isn't all treats and bullying me into submission! I can be fierce when I want to be.
( It's a little funny, the impassioned way he announces himself, like he isn't famed for being cruel, for being ruthless. The dichotomy of it should rankle a little. But then he's always been fairly bad at denying the people he cares about. Even Satoru never got the full force of his ire. Geto chose to walk away instead, so they could never truly be enemies.
A sigh, dramatic and for effect. )
You can barter for an allowance, I suppose.
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No, of course not. Life isn't that simple or easy no matter how much support they have. Nanami gives Geto a wry smile, taking in what his former classmate has become. The most terrifying curse user of their time, an indulgent young parent, and also a man willing to rescue him for the sake of old memories. What a mess. ]
You don't have to pay me. If you want me to do you favors, you just have to ask. Make sure they're not too tedious--and try to keep them outside of normal work hours.
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( There's an amused light in his face when he speaks, something almost cheeky about the way he all but purrs it. ) Ah, Nanami, what kind of favours do people often ask of you if those are the prerequisite?
( The curse clears the tops of the buildings now, the people below barely noticeable beyond tiny pinpricks. The higher they go the looser his shoulders become, the less the chokehold of his emotions become. He tips his face up towards the dark night sky, the twinkling of stars, offering an easier smile this time. )
I'll bear it in mind. You do the same. Don't work yourself into a state in the morning, I don't think any less of you now, and I won't if it happens again. Besides, it's been nice. Being useful in a different way.